The Airplane Hypochondriac

There was a crazy hypochondriac woman across the isle from me on the plane. I have decided that she must have some horrible disease like cancer or aids which would cause any little germ to be life threatening. This and ONLY this would make it acceptable to not only wear a blue medical mask and spend the entire flight creating concoctions of emergent-c powders and cold eez but also to cause a huge scene if anyone on the entire flight sneezed or coughed by violently throwing down what she was doing (mostly the cold preventative concoctions) and throw up her hand or arm to COVER her mask in order to prevent breathing in ANY air at all for a period of one full minute. I started sneezing just for the fun of it. I will ALSO have you know that this is the SAME woman who brought a full sized pizza box full of stinky veggie pizza onto the flight. She did however have no problem lifting her mask for each and every bite. I will forever regret not sneezing on her pizza.